An AMISH Wake

My brother lives on the farm where I grew up.

It’s a beautiful old farmhouse surrounded by tall trees and verdant fields…

A peaceful pond…

And more farm cats than you can shake a stick at!!!

The farmhouse is filled with all the modern conveniences we have come to expect…and yet the surrounding countryside is filled with homes that sport none of the amenities we all take for granted.

You see, most of those neighbors are Amish.

In fact…the little house across the gravel road in the photo below is an Amish “Grandpa House” with no electricity.  A Grandpa House is a small house built on the Amish landowner’s property where their elderly parents “retire”…No nursing homes for Amish people-EVER.  The younger family members take care of them until they die.

The only light you will ever see in that house is the faint glow of a kerosene lantern…

And it just happened that the day we were invited to my brother’s house for dinner, I discovered that a long-time neighbor, Edwin Ray, had passed away at the ripe old age of 88.  He was still active up until the day he died.  My brother saw him walk down the gravel road to that little Grandpa House just the other day to visit his sister who still lives there alone since her husband died years ago.

I had known Edwin and his children since I was a little girl, so I went along with my brother and sister-in-law to pay our respects at the Amish wake that was being held at Edwin’s farm next to ours…and I SO wish I could have taken pictures to show you!!!

I did snap this photo of some of the buggies that were lined up in the farm yard of ANOTHER Grandpa House across the road from the large Amish farmhouse. The photo is somewhat out of focus because I was trying to snap the picture without being observed by the Amish men who were beginning to hitch up their horses to head home to do their chores before returning to eat the evening meal in the main house.

It is considered rude to take pictures of Amish people since they feel photos are “graven images”, so I will do my best to paint a word picture of the scene…

There were probably 30 buggies in the yard…none with horses.  The horses had been put in the barn.
And as we walked across the yard, we were met with some uncomfortable stares since many Amish people never interact with the “English” as we are called.

We followed some other mourners and we walked into a newer looking white barn-like structure that some would call a pole building. There were tables inside the door where the Amish were to remove their overcoats and the outer bonnets worn by the women.  Everyone was dressed in black from head to toe.  Everyone, that is, but me!  Even Tom and Barb were wearing navy sweaters or muted colors…but in my infinite wisdom, I had chosen to wear an ORANGE sweater that day!  So I looked very out of place…and with my orange sweater and my black vest I probably looked like a Halloween goblin to them!

We stepped through another door to the interior of the large building. And my first impression was…total darkness!  It was about 4pm on a very cloudy and gloomy day, and since there was no electricity in the building it was VERY dark!  We were met with some more stares and a few half-smiles by some of the elders…and I began to look for anyone we might recognize.  As my eyes began to adjust to the darkness I recognized someone from my past…from LONG ago.  It was one of my classmates from the one room school I attended more than fifty years ago…my classmate Dennis.  He seemed really glad to see me.  We shook hands-firmly-like all Amish do.  (The motion always reminds me of operating a pump handle!)

A few minutes after we entered the building, several men appeared with kerosene lanterns which they distributed around the room.  We then joined a line that had formed to pass behind a curtained off area of the room.  And behind that curtain was the casket containing the body of Edwin.

Amish people are embalmed like everyone else…but they are buried in a simple wooden box.  The lid is nowhere to be seen.  The body is fully dressed in Amish clothing, and you can see the entire body from head to toe.  Edwin was wearing socks, but no shoes.  It’s a very different funeral attire, to be sure.

After the three of us stood behind that curtain for what seemed like an appropriate amount of time, we emerged on the other side and were faced with about eight rows of chairs.  There were about twenty chairs in each row…and most of the seats were occupied by Amish men and women.  They simply sit there.  And watch.

The front row was filled by Edwin’s six “children” all in their 50’s and 60’s…and many of the younger people in the rows behind them turned out to be grandchildren and great grandchildren.  It turns out Edwin had 48 grand kids and 46 great-grand kids!!!  (Amish people have very large families to help with the farm work.)

It was interesting to reconnect with several of Edwin’s sons who had played with me as children.  (I used to ride my horse to their house.)  I remember one hot summer day…being pulled in a little wagon by one of the boys when I was about five or six years old…and I remember Ada (Edwin’s wife) coming out with a BLANKET.  She instructed me to cover my legs with it!  (I was too young to realize that I was wearing shorts…and Amish children were never allowed to see such scandalous behavior!)

I got sincere hugs from several Amish women I knew…especially Katie.  (She had been our dear babysitter when our sons were babies.)  Katie had just come over from the house where she was helping to prepare the evening meal for the mourners.  After I hugged her I told her she smelled delicious!  She smelled like Thanksgiving dinner!  I knew the meal would be wonderful…whatever it was.  She asked if we would stay for “supper”…but we assured her we already had plans.  She said she had been chopping cabbage for a large salad of some sort.  And if Katie was making it, I know it was good.  VERY good.  Amish are plain people.  And they serve plain food…but it is as fresh as it comes.  (They know what Farm To Table is all about!)

It really felt good to reconnect to my past…and one of Edwin’s daughters told me “I remember you, and I’ve always wondered how you look!”  Another wondered why both of us had gotten “so heavy”! Amish people can be brutally honest…and sometimes I think we could all benefit from a little more of that!

We excused ourselves as soon as it was feasible to do so, and we headed back to our farm.  Back to our electric lights, gas range, dishwasher, WiFi, and TVs…and the delicious dinner we had planned…

Edwin’s house is about two hundred yards from my childhood home…

But it’s really a world away.